Lakshmi and Anu

Lakshmi and Anu
Once again I was alone, as my daughter had left home to does her PG. Would have opted for a part time help but for Zephyr who loved human company. There was this very close friend of mine, who had a good part time maid who worked part time in 8 houses and it was taking a toll on her health. My friend suggested that I keep her on my 6am to 6pm assignment with permission to be away for a couple of hours to do my friend’s household work too. Are houses were about 3 kilometers apart so she suggested give her cycle to commute between our houses. I agreed to that because I knew she was good at her work she had been at my friends place for a year. What I did not know was that she was a good gossip too. She was used to working in 8 houses and narrating at each place what happened at the other places. Now she had only two houses to work in and not enough tales to carry so she started spicing it up on her own! She created a lot of problems between me and my friend before we realized what she was up to. One day we confronted her in both our presence and the cat was out of the bag .There after she realized this was not going to work, so she at least reduced the gossip it was in any case too much to expect of to stop gossiping.
Lakshmi’s husband was a carpenter who worked and earned well but drank away to the last rupee. Lakshmi slogged to keep the family going with the help of her son who was an apprentice to a carpenter. There was no knowing when Lakshmi would not turn up for work and for how long, it all depended on how badly her husband in his drunken state beat her up. She would turn after a couple of days looking so pathetic that you would not have the heart to haul her up. What do you tell a women who turned with a swollen face or an injured hand or a broken tooth? At one point I got so tiered of her erratic work schedules that I asked her to leave but she talked me into keeping her daughter Anu. I agreed not knowing what I was letting myself in for. The girl was a cheerful kid , just 15 ½ years .She had only two interests in life drawing Kolams( rangoli ) and watching the TV.I tried to get interested in continuing her studies she tried to please me for a week then told me I have no interest in learning , I only like to draw kolams . The book I had given to write English alphabets in was filled cover to cover in Kolam designs after a month or so I gave up trying to teach her instead gave her color pencils and an empty note book to do kolam designs. I did all this despite the fact that she was lousy at work in the hope that she would learn to work in a month or two. But she was totally uninterested in work it was like her mother had left her at her grandmother’s place for a holiday. She enjoyed her stay drawing kolams and watching every Tamil TV serial in every channel throughout the day. It was only when she heard the car drive in when I returned from office that she would rush to clean the house, the dishes would be lying in the sink since morning when she helped me in the kitchen with the cooking. I tried Sam, dam, vend with her with no results. I got her small little gift like a nail polish or a hair clip or fancy earring etc as an incentive if she did all the jobs assigned to her, I tried scolding her (I do not think I ever scolded anyone as much as I scolded her), I tried sitting down on Sundays and explaining to her why she should work well and be a support to her mother and help her to put the two younger kids back into school. She would agree with me but her work would be undone or some shabby work done in between serial watching. The only thing that worked with her was threatening to send her away. Her endearing quality was her love for me, however much I scolded her she would never get angry she was always cheerful, I think that was the reason I kept her for full 4 months though right from the job of waking her up, making her have a bath, sweep and mop the house for each task I had to really strain myself. The last straw was when I found a Kolam design on the wall! I gave up training her to be a good maid and a source of help to her mother. So she was off and her mom Lakshmi back at work promising to come regularly or at least inform if she was not coming.
Thereafter, the same routine continued, Lakshmi would come to work one day disappear another day pop up again after a couple of days crying that she was beaten up black and blue. The last time she came back she assured me then onward I would not have a problem she was going to stay in my house as she had left her husband and kids in their home in the village and had come back alone.
She had to vacate rented accommodation in Chennai almost every third month either because of the inability to pay rent or more often than not because of drunken brawls at home which the neighbors complained about. She said she had learnt her lesson and she was staying in my house and working at my place and wanted help to get her daughter a job which I did in a friend’s place where she had to just look after a baby and not do household work. She said I need to give her, her salary only when she goes to the village for diwali which was 3 months away so that she can put her two youngest kids in school. Everything was fine for 3 months as far as work was concerned she and her daughter Anu working in my friends place saved up quite a tidy sum for their first trip to village after the new arrangement. She missed her kids a lot and wanted to carry gifts for them since I wanted her to put the kids in school and not waste away their life’s I did not want her to spend her savings so I got new clothes not only for Lakshmi but for Anu and the two younger kids paid her salary which and was very sure she would return two days after diwali but two months passed by with no information. much later I came to know from my friend whose place she used to work in whom she had a pending loan with them and that there was a massive fight between Lakshmi and her husband and Lakshmi doused herself and the kids with kerosene and tried set all of them on fire and that they survived but were under treatment for burns. I decided not to keep her even if she returned,scared that she may make more such attempts. She has not returned to this day.

Mary

Mary
Mary was the one who reached the benchmark of Shobha of Bombay. She was a superb housekeeper and absolutely reliable. After a week of starting work she said okay now I know what is expected of me, I’ll take care. She just took over.
She kept herself and the house very presentable. By then we had a Labrador pup added to the family and that did not make her job very easy. He was teething and chews and rips apart anything he came across a socks, cushions, towel, duster, broom, footwear just about anything. Zypher the pup must have made her pick and clean the place all the time he was not taking a nap which luckily was quite frequently. He in any case like rest of the family doted on her.
The reigns of the household just slipped into her hands smoothly. She took my daughter’s bicycle to the vegetable market got fresh vegetables , decided the menu for the day, watered the plants, saw that the overhead water tank was full, literally ran the show. My daughter’s friends would drop by to have “Mary’s Sambar or “Mary’s Fish curry”. She was a good cook too. Unexpected guest, did not daunt her, she would have a meal ready in a jiffy.
Mary had only one area of doubt that was on GOD. She came from a village called senji. Apparently most of them in the village were Hindus converted to Christians and the first generation converts. Many of the old Hindu customs continued with a Christian twist. For the Pongal festival they would still decorate their cattle but would take it to the local Church! Poor kid to add to her confusion in the village they went to the Roman Catholic Church whereas in Chennai her local guardians whom she visited every Sunday took her to the Pentecost Church, which had their own peculiar rituals. To add to the confusion her questions on God were directed to me who did not believe in any religious practices, though I was on a spiritual search I really could not answer any of her questions with absolute confidence as I was still in the process of questioning the religious practices. She was only a 20 year old with the natural interest of a girl her age in films, dressing up etc but her Pentecost relatives told her she should spend all her spare time in reading the Bible and that it was because she did not have adequate belief in the Bible that her father continued to be a drunkard. She would keep switching TV Channels between Tamil film songs and the religious sermons. She felt very guilty about her interest in film songs.
She would ask me why I don’t go to Temple every week. She found it difficult to understand my explanation that I did believe in a cosmic power but could not give it a name as so and so God. I used to tell her all of us including all of nature around us is “God “to me. She would consider that seriously until the next Sunday!
She thought quiet deeply not just about God. One of her questions really amazed me. We had a cot on the terrace which we covered with a sheet. Because of the bright sunlight the colored sheet would fade quite fast. Whenever she went home for Christmas holidays of two weeks she would come back darker as she had to help her parents in the field .She would be desperate to get rid of the sun tan once back at work at our place. It was on one such occasion that she came up with this question. One day she asks me - Why is it that the color of the sheet becomes light when exposed to the sun but I my skin color becomes darker in the sun?!That was Mary for you! I had to explain about the pigment in our skin etc to her. Mary was very keen to become fair she had a dark complexion. She was quite pretty but refused to believe that, for her beauty meant fair skin. She pinned all her hope on the fair and lovely cream that she secretly applied on her face. Secretly, because she did not want her Pentecost relatives to know of it.
Mary was with us for 2 1/5 years .She left to get married.

Zubaida

ZUBAIDA


Once again I was between maids and had spread the word around that I needed someone for both the house hold work and cooking. Since my daughter was away at the boarding school and there was just myself to be fed I decided that I could cook for myself.

I over estimated my capabilities. Very soon I was quiet sick of my “survival cooking”. I was diabetic and found that I was not making adequately nutritious food. My excuse was, I did not have adequate time but to be honest I guess the fact is cooking has never been one of my main priorities! Being quite mediocre in that department whenever the occasion demanded something exotic or really yummy, I always opted to outsource.

So the search for a good cook was on, the watchman, the driver, the dhobi, and the neighborhood maids had all been informed. The dhobi’s wife comes one evening saying “amma there is a lady who has not worked anywhere before ,she comes from a good family but has been married into a family that is not so well off , she has two kids and is not able to make ends meet so wants to work. However there is one issue, she is a Muslim “That is Okay with me, bring her over let me meet her and then decide “I said. She came late evening with the dhobi woman. A well dressed, pretty women, rather a girl, must have got married very young. She was so well behaved and simple in her demeanor I really jumped at the chance.

Next day was the orientation program. Not having worked anywhere else as a domestic help she needed guidance on what needed to be done. I took a day off to explain where what was kept and induct her into the cleaning process.

Then onwards she took over. She would be at my place at the crack of dawn, before her neighbors woke up, she did not want them to know she worked as a maid. From 5am in the morning to 8 o’clock she would finish cooking and cleaning. Before she left she would take such pains to see there were no tell tale signs of her having come to work , she would comb her hair , retie her sari , take her purse and carry bag so that when she returned home it would appear she had just stepped out to pick up some provisions for her house. Her parents lived in the same neighborhood and she did not want them to know she had to do household work to support
her family. This went on very well, she cooked some of the yummiest food and I had to be cautious to see that I did not put on weight.

One night after I had returned from office, I was surprised to see her at my place with her two little sons. They must have been 9 and 6 years of age, the elder one’s name was Amir Khan and the younger was Sharukh Khan! Really handsome boys, so I told them that looks like you plan to be like your namesakes in Bollywood! They were very thrilled with that. Obviously a star struck family. Zubaida said she had come because she need a loan badly as she had to pay fees for the boys next day which her husband was to arrange from his workplace, which he was not able to . She was almost in tears as she said the school had given an ultimatum and she did not want the kids schooling to be stopped.
Though I have had bad experiences of loans to maids, which often disappeared along with the maid, it looked like a genuine case so I gave her the amount. She promised that she would pay it back in installments from her salary. She continued to work for me for some time and every month she would pay back the loan in bits and pieces.

During this period I met with a personal tragedy .One morning at office I had a call from my Dad to say that my Mom was hospitalized and I should come home. I knew Mom was having a fever for a week and she had told me it was a viral fever so I was surprised she was hospitalized. Dad was not able to tell me more, except that it was apparently not a viral as she continued to have low grade fever and typhoid, malaria etc had been ruled out, so doctors were keeping her under observation and for further tests.

I immediately organized a ticket to Trichur, closed up the house, told the neighbors to inform Zubaida that I would be away and that when I return I would inform the Dhobi and she need not come until then.

By the time I reached Trichur the next morning there was no further progress in the diagnosis but I knew from dad’s face that it was worrying him no end. I had a bath and went to the hospital; mom looked fine to me except for the fact that she had slight fever. I thought Dad was worrying unnecessarily. My brother was with my mom at the hospital. Since I and my dad were there with mom he said he was going to meet her doctor .As he was leaving he said “Why don’t you come with me”. I accompanied him to the first floor of the hospital as soon as we reached the landing of the first floor he asked me to sit down, saying I need to talk to you. I immediately sensed there was something amiss. “Usha, Mom has Leukemia “He said, his voice quivering. I sat with a thud. I could not believe it.” Mom does not look ill, are you sure?” I asked, hoping against hope there was some error somewhere. He said” No, I have seen her reports and it is AML, she has max 90 days left.”

Though my brother was a doctor I hoped he was wrong and said I would like to meet the doctor .He said we need to take mom for the biopsy but the blood reports were quite conclusive. We went to the doctor who was one of our relatives he took one look at my face and turned to my brother who told him “ I have told her” I asked the doctor “ Uncle is there a chance that the biopsy may prove the blood report wrong” He said “ No Usha , it is confirmed.” He then called my brother to examine the blood stained slides. They discussed the medical details, I just sat numb. I only asked should we tell dad. The doctor and my brother both agreed that dad and mom both could be told that Mom had to go for a biopsy, as that would mentally prepare them ,for the worst. Well to cut painful long story short, it was confirmed Mom had only max 90 days left. I decided to take 3 months off from office and be with Mom for her last days.

So it was after Mom passed away on the 87th day and after the rituals that I came back to Chennai, in the mean time I called one of the neighbours and asked him to inform the Dhobi woman.

The day after I got back to Chennai I sent for the dhobi woman , she came and told me “Amma Zubaida has gone” I thought she has taken up another assignment as I was away for so long so I said “ask her if she will come back if I pay her for the 3 months I was away” She responded with tears in her eyes “ Amma , almost two or three weeks after you left Zubaida was working at her home making ‘upma’ for her sons when the stove burst and her sari caught fire . She struggled for life for two days in the hospital.”

As it is my nerves were strained watching Mom die and I come back and here this! I just sat down and howled my heart out. What the dhobi woman said after that made me cry even more. She said when she gained conscious in between the two things she said was, her two sons were hungry and should be fed and if something happens to her not to ask for her salary for
the days she worked because she had taken a loan from me and she owed me money.”

I was so touched, until then I had only experienced maids who don’t return the loans they take. Here was a dying woman who must have been in so much pain, talking about the money she owed me. My faith in people honesty which I questioned sometimes was restored. I also thanked providence for having made me give her the loan, though at that time I had a doubt that this may be yet another maid disappearing along with the loan.

Every time someone breaks my trust and to stop myself from trusting others I remind myself that there are Zubaidas’ of this world who are honest and may have a genuine need for the loan. Every time a maid asks me for a loan its Zubaida’s lovely face that before my eyes and I don’t have the heart to refuse despite the innumerable times I have been duped.

Ammu

Ammu
Lalitha insisted that I keep her daughter Ammu after sarasa’s marriage. Sarasa warned me that I would not find Ammu suitable. I never the less agreed as lalitha had borrowed a hefty sum for Sarasa’s wedding saying she would work for me and I could recover from her salary. Now she wanted her daughter Ammu to work she promised whenever she was free she would come to work in place of Ammu.
Ammu was the pretty on e in the family. Lalitha and all the other girls were dark and unkempt but Ammu because she was the beauty in the family got the best clothes and did the least work. The family pampered her, made a big deal about her looks and they were always referring to marrying her off to a wealthy family on account of her looks. She had grown up with these stories and was not used to the idea of having to work for her living. Though only 16 she had marriage proposals from comparatively well off families. She was a reluctant domestic help. She would help me out in the kitchen till I left for work. She was expected to do the cleaning work after I left, but would spend the entire day watching her and before the mirror grooming her.
The only work she was genuinely interested in was cooking. She did not know a thing about cooking but was interested in learning. One Sunday morning she watched me make egg roast. After a week or two one day she offered to make it herself asked her how she would make it she narrated the steps to me , she would boil the eggs, chop onions and ginger, heat oil in a pan fry the onion with the masala powder and then put the boiled eggs in and stir it for 5 min. Since she had got the process right I said okay and went to take a bath when I came out from the bedroom I could hear a strange ‘click clack’ sound from the kitchen. When I peeped in I found she had put the boiled eggs in without removing the shell and hence the strange sound!
I did not mind her not knowing cooking but the house was always dirty. I prided myself on my ‘induction program ‘for maids but I must admit with Ammu I failed. It was like water off a duck’s back. Because of my long association with lalitha and her family I suffered her also because I had to recover the loan I had given Lalitha.I come home one day to hear my daughter say mom get rid of this girl she is absolutely crazy. When I enquire I find out that my daughter was studying in her room for some time she felt she could smell smoke when she came out and asked Ammu she said she did not know where it was coming from so both of them check the kitchen then my room and they discover it is more in the drawing room. My daughter discovers that the smoke was from the crockery cupboard which was closed but full of smoke .On opening it she found one of the large decorative candles lit and kept in a crystal bowl in the cupboard. Ammu told her she just wanted to see how it looked and had forgotten to put it out! That was the last straw, I told Lalitha I could not manage her daughter so we parted with lalitha promising to return the loan but kept postponing till I shifted house and moved out. That was the last of Lalitha and her family and the loan she had taken.

Sarasa

Sarasa
That is how Sarasa came into our lives. I think it was a turning point in Sarasa’s life. My first assignment was to make the girl presentable. She looked like an unkempt gypsy whose hair had not experienced a comb in many years.
I gave her soap , shampoo , comb, clothes and the extra wash room at home .Her first job every morning was to use the washroom , have a proper bath and see that she was clean and tidy. Within a week people were complimenting her on her appearance, which was a great motivator for her. All the praise, the fact that there were no battles with her step mom, and the Sunday English classes, changed Sarasa to an unbelievable extent. She was no longer the ruffian child she used to be, for one she looked good, even started speaking in more refined way, her whole disposition underwent a change. She was literally a different Sarasa. Gone was the defiant, uncouth, loud brat.
The girl had not seen the inside of a school but her native intelligence was amazing. She was curious about everything and learnt fast. She absorbed her Sunday English lessons with such speed that she could within months manage small sentences in spoken English. Though she could not read she would from the news paper leaflets put two and two together and be absolutely on the dot, on which shop in the neighborhood had a sale on which items. She was a raving fan of one of the local Tamil actor Vijay every photograph of his was cut from the papers and magazines and stored away very carefully.
She was a treat to watch, when I took her with me, to the local supermarket. Her excitement never abated even after a dozen trips. She would run counter to counter chattering loudly oblivious of the curious stares from other shoppers. If, I ever went to the store without Sarasa, I would have all the shop hands enquiring about her, they looked forward to her visits.
On one occasion, she stayed with me for a weekend when her family went to their village. She was quite upset they did not take her with them. To compensate, I took her that Sunday morning to the beach. The preparation for it started almost 48 hours ahead. It was like taking a 5 year old to the beach instead of a seventeen year old. I had my hands full, trying to get her not to go far into the water and get her to get out of the water, when it was time to return home. Passersby gave curious looks, they probably wondered whether she was underdeveloped, not knowing this was a seventeen year olds first outing to a beach.
By the time Sarasa was with me for couple of years she would insist on speaking English, if she could manage it. Some of the phrases she used surprised me, for I do not recall teaching her, but she had picked it up from somewhere, probably from the TV. Once my daughter was home for holidays and was upset over something and Sarasa comes out with “don’t worry, be happy” to my daughter’s amusement.
Soon it was time to part ways. Sarasa was getting married to one of Latlitha’s relative’s son who had fallen in love with the new, well behaved, well dressed Sarasa. Sarasa while she worked with me had put away a part of her salary with which she was able to buy herself a gold chain and two bangles and with the little money left over, she bought me a small porcelain doll, as a show piece which I treasure to this day. My last memory of Sarasa is when she was all decked up on her wedding ,when I last saw her in her new gold bangles and chain and the earring, I gave her for her wedding, bending down to take my blessings

Lalitha ( Chennai)

LALITHA ( Chennai)


By now my daughter was away at a boarding school, Rishi Valley, Madanapalle, my husband I had separated. With just myself to be fed I thought I could inflict my cooking on myself. So I opted to have a part time maid to do only the cleaning jobs in the morning before I left for work.
Lalitha and her family seemed to have monopoly over the apartment I had shifted to. She and her elder daughter cleaned the common area of the apartment before taking on household work in individual apartments. Her husband was the watchman for the apartment .Her second daughter cleaned and kept their own little shanty in the backyard of the apartment which served as the watchman’s house .The third daughter went to school and on her return looked after the fourth child, actually the fourth was a daughter, but always dressed up as a boy to make up for the lack of a son!

The whole family was up and about doing their respective jobs by 5 in the morning. They were like a gypsy family. Would be at work with disheveled hair straight out of bed. All the kids looked like ragamuffins, grimy and dirty. All sourcing of maids for everyone was done by Lalitha , since I was alone there would not much work according to Lalitha so she declared she would work in my house .It did not sound as though I had a choice in the matter! I told her I need someone who will finish my work before I left for office; she said she would do it soon after common area cleaning which she would largely delegate to her elder daughter.

There was hardly 45 min. of work at my place but she would take an and a half. No she was not slow, in fact she was a fast worker, one of the fastest I have seen. But it was like the apartment complex was her fiefdom she was a busy body who had to know what happened where. One small sound outside, she would drop the work she was doing like a hot potato and dart out to find out who had come or gone, who was having argument with whom... Had she been educated I am sure she would have opted to be a journalist working on one of the gossip columns. She knew exactly who was marrying whom, who was going to have a baby, who had a guest at home, where and why they had come, who was having a fight with which neighbor, etc. She would ferret out all information and only when satisfied, that there was nothing else to learn would she return back to work. I had to as I cooked, to compulsorily listen to her report on important issues of the apartment complex. My pleas to her to keep quiet fell on deaf ears. She needed an audience for her daily reports and everything was reported at peak volume.
Every ten days or so there would be mayhem in the apartment complex. Lalitha and her elder daughter Sarasa having one of their serious fights. They were constantly at each others throat. Sarasa was I discovered the watchman’s daughter by previous marriage. She just hated her stepmother for some reason. Her father, our watchman was actually a mason and Lalitha was a worker at the construction site. Both of them had worked at our apartment complex once the work was over, they decided not to move on to the next construction site; but to stay on at the apartment as watchman and household maid respectively, as it was less taxing than the construction work.
Sarasa had not been to a school, her childhood was spent at one construction site after another looking after the young step sisters. Though she was always fighting with her step mom she loved her three step sisters. The best food she got from the houses she worked in was always kept aside for her sisters. Lalitha was a real slave driver as far as Sarasa was concerned. She would make Sarasa do all their own household work, like giving her kid sisters a bath, washing clothes, cook their dinner and also pester her to work in as many houses as possible in the apartment complex. One day I talked Lalitha into leaving Sarasa in my house the whole day instead of both of them bickering on a daily basis. I offered to teach her cooking and wee bit of English on Sundays. Lalitha agreed, as the fights between the two were really getting out of hand.

Lakshmi

LAKSHMI


This was one person who loved what she did. All maids always had a sob story to tell on why they were domestic help, this one too. In fact to me it sounded worse than other tales I had heard. She had a series of miscarriages and every time she delivered a baby none survived beyond 5 to six years of age .She had lost 4 to 5 kids. Probably it was some genetic problem. Only once she told me her tales of woe. She was a survivor. She was never bitter. She had just decided to be happy. She was always cheerful and boisterous in her love of life.

In retrospect, people come into our life, I think on a purpose. I was going through a difficult phase in life .I had given up working after 20 years. Relocated from Gujarat to Chennai on account of my husband changing his job. I did not find it feasible to come from Gujarat to Chennai for seeking a job as my husband had already shifted and I and my daughter were still at Gujarat. I took a risk of leaving a job I had been in for 16 plus years, which I loved and coming to Chennai and then looking out for one .It was also an attempt to keep a sinking marriage afloat. Probably that was a mistake, without the job to keep me mentally occupied I was full time pondering over the problems with the marriage, depression being the outcome...

Hardly two months into being in Chennai, I was just beginning to start applying for a job and here was my husband talking of starting off a business in Delhi at times or switching to another job in Bangalore. By then,I was in mood to deal with the uncertainty any longer. I told him I had enough. I was staying put in Chennai till my daughter finished her schooling. By then my daughter’s schooling had started and I was keen we do not shift her from school to school , state to state , one third language to another. He never the less decided he wanted to go ahead with his plans to shift and I decided I had enough of striving to make the marriage work.

All this digression from the Lakshmi incident was to highlight my mental state at the time Laksmi came into my life. She was God send. With my state of depression and my non existent culinary skills my poor child would probably have starved in addition to facing the tense situation at home. At least Lakshmi ensured everyone has sumptuous food on the table and of course her constant cheerful disposition was a blessing. From the loud boisterous “Good morning ‘Motacoose’ (that’s what she called my daughter never understood what that meant), at Six sharp in the morning till she left at 1 O’clock, it was sound of fun and laughter .She would go back home after lunch and be back at 5 in the evening for preparing dinner, so by the time my daughter was back she was around with her laughter and chatter.

She had a store house of amusing incidents to narrate; I wonder now, whether she made them up because she sensed my unhappy state. Considering the mess my life was in at that point in time I think it was her constant chatter that stopped me from completely going over the bend.

She was with me for those difficult 2 years. Because of the situation, the next academic year I yielded to putting my daughter in a boarding school. At least she will not have to deal with the everyday unpleasant issues at home. With her also gone, Lakshmi’s presence was like sunshine in an otherwise graveyard like situation.

Soon my husband left for Bangalore and I shifted house in Chennai itself. I met a neighbor friend a few months after shifting and amongst catching up with one another she asked me “ Usha what made you give away such fabulous saris to Lakshmi? “ Only then I realized she had been siphoning away things from home which I had not even noticed given my mental state. This was the second time someone was stealing things from home. But this time round I did not feel cheated. I just felt that for what she meant for me at that time she just deserved all that she took!